Sunday, August 24, 2014

For Mary Jane

Mary Jane, I've know you for almost twenty years.  I haven't known the love of your life and soul mate, Jack, as well as I know you, but can see without much trouble that you two have lived a rich and full lives and were most definitely made for each other. And when I got to enjoy time with both of you, it was never dull.

I couldn't even begin to imagine what it was like for my Dad to watch my Mom die.  The girl he fell in love with in high school. The mother of his children. Living through rough times. Creating lasting memories.  His best friend who he loved the most. I saw the fall-out.  An angry man mad at the world and all around him. But, I also saw the adjustment, new friends, and continuous living until his turn came.

You and Jack remind me very much of my parents.  And I can see that you are like my Dad.  You are that time where you are going to have to pick up the pieces and carry on.  Everyone will understand your sadness and anger.

As I write this, I am wrestling with the words to write.  What to write to express my thoughts.  And then I realized that I didn't need to think hard about what to write.   I already know what to say.  It was what I said to my parents.

So here are my words to you...

It is never "goodbye."  It is never the last moment ever.  This is only a horrendous, heartbreaking parting that you will struggle with for a long time. Taking all your strength and courage. You may not like it.  In fact, you should be hating it, ever bit of it, but it is never "goodbye." So, instead of "goodbye," think of it as a "see you later" moment.   I just can't imagine any God/Allah/Fates/Whoever taking two such great people apart and not reuniting them somewhere someday.

It isn't "goodbye."  It's "see you later."

CSM

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