You know the scene in movies where all the birds fly off when someone yells some obscenity. You know that scene where the person is just about to yell it and the scene cuts away. The birds fly off. Well, that happened after I said "F*ck this sh*t." I even think a few car alarms may have gone off as well.
All I can say about that moment was... I was done. I was over it. The feelings that I had been bottling up had popped the cap and started to fizzle out all over the place. And to be honest, I didn't care who it fizzled on.
It was also at that moment that I started to pray for a miracle, and to be honest, I just didn't believe in them anymore. There was no reason to hope and/or trust in the universe that all would be well. So I simply gave up and gave into the drudgery of life. Get up, go to a boring and taxing job, go home to a heighten state of paranoia and anxiety, and repeat. Seven days a week for twelve months a year for the rest of my life. I wasn't sure what to do. But I knew that 24/7 of repetition wasn't going to cut it.
It was also at that moment that I started to pray for a miracle, and to be honest, I just didn't believe in them anymore. There was no reason to hope and/or trust in the universe that all would be well. So I simply gave up and gave into the drudgery of life. Get up, go to a boring and taxing job, go home to a heighten state of paranoia and anxiety, and repeat. Seven days a week for twelve months a year for the rest of my life. I wasn't sure what to do. But I knew that 24/7 of repetition wasn't going to cut it.
But now in hindsight, someone somewhere showed me that miracles do occur. One morning it happened. An simple email from my co-worker/friend Kathy saying something like "Check out this job posting." And that's when the ball began to roll. (Many thanks Kathy!)
Now, I look back and think "Okay. I did it. I moved on." And in a way, I feel deep inside that I wasn't alone in the venture. Sure I might have done it all myself. Sent the resume, interviewed, had post-interview depression where I thought for sure I had blown it because I gave a half-assed answer and really didn't think it through and wondered why the hell did I say that. Jack ass! And then I lost sleep and worried and cried, but mostly waited patiently. And I waited. And I waited. And I... Oh dear god! Is this ever going to happen?! Talk about your constipating moment. And finally it did.
Now, I look back and think "Okay. I did it. I moved on." And in a way, I feel deep inside that I wasn't alone in the venture. Sure I might have done it all myself. Sent the resume, interviewed, had post-interview depression where I thought for sure I had blown it because I gave a half-assed answer and really didn't think it through and wondered why the hell did I say that. Jack ass! And then I lost sleep and worried and cried, but mostly waited patiently. And I waited. And I waited. And I... Oh dear god! Is this ever going to happen?! Talk about your constipating moment. And finally it did.
I remember my last few words of the previous chapter of my life. It was something like... "So long suckers!" Or maybe it was, to quote Bugs Bunny, "Don't think it hasn't been a little slice of Heaven... 'Cause it hasn't."
And the first few words of the new chapter... "Holy Sh*t! What have I done!" I was freaked out. You know what I'm talking about. Did I just do the right thing? Am I sure about this?
At my new desk, I have a note from my good friend Meaghan that shows Woody and Jessie from Toy Story posed ready to jump down through an opening leading them into some sort of dangerous situation... Woody is obviously saying "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?" Jesse says "NO! LET'S GO!" Meaghan sent me the perfect image and perfect quote for exactly what I was thinking and feeling.
And the first few words of the new chapter... "Holy Sh*t! What have I done!" I was freaked out. You know what I'm talking about. Did I just do the right thing? Am I sure about this?
At my new desk, I have a note from my good friend Meaghan that shows Woody and Jessie from Toy Story posed ready to jump down through an opening leading them into some sort of dangerous situation... Woody is obviously saying "ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THIS?" Jesse says "NO! LET'S GO!" Meaghan sent me the perfect image and perfect quote for exactly what I was thinking and feeling.
Was I sure about this? No, but I went anyway. And now I am sure about this.
So, the post title is "New Job, New Car, New Home... Or The Bermuda Triangle." Maybe I should call it "The Unholy Trinity".... I've address the moment of the new job. And now I've got to write about the new car and the new home.
For a while there, I felt like my pool of stories has dried up. Ha! I have so much to write about now. I'm not sure where to begin.
For a while there, I felt like my pool of stories has dried up. Ha! I have so much to write about now. I'm not sure where to begin.
Am I sure about that? Nope, let's go!
CSM
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