How I Lost Everything in the Post-House-Buying Depression.

What was that? Was that the furnace? Or the hot water heater?  Hmmm... Has that spot always been there? Where is that smell coming from?  Why is this toilet moving?  And oh dear god, who planted English ivy that never dies?  Where do I turn off the gas in case of post-earthquake disaster?  And for heavens sake, who thought that red would be the perfect color for the kitchen walls?!

You've been there at some point in time. Living with these types of questions. Possibly when you were a first-time home owner. That mental exhaustion that creeps up on you. I've named it "New House Paranoia." It really hit me the moment I realized I could no longer call a landlord to come and fix it.  I was now the landlord. And I'm not sure how well I would fare.  And I was sure that I would lose my mind. And my savings.

Of course this led to combing over the finances.  So long to the "Sunday Morning Trip to Starbucks" funds. I'll just filter that into the savings.  So long to the "over-priced, poor-customer-service Internet" expenditure line.  And how about those Porterhouse steaks.  Now it's the economy-sized package of frozen chicken breasts.

When it comes to repairs or replacements, for some odd reason, I have one figure stuck in my head. $5,000.  No matter what it is.  It is going to cost me 5 grand.  Need a new furnace.  That'll be $5,000. Need a new hot water heater.  Add on another $5,000.  Damn, that drawer handle in the kitchen that just broke... Well, it's gonna break the bank...  There goes 5,000 smackaroos.  Where did I ever get this notion that everything would cost that much?

Buying my first home was a major move for me.  I still haven't convinced myself that it was the right thing to do, but it was certainly a leap of faith.  Personally I would have preferred a leap of faith that would have landed me somewhere near a sandy warm beach with rolling ocean waves.  Maybe next time, but until then I'll have to skip merrily along.

Regardless, the people who find this the funniest are my long-time-home-owning friends.  I think they may be having too much fun sitting back and watching the newbie on the block fret over it. Ahhh... just like that new car smell, that "new house paranoia" will subside... At least I hope...  I better knock on some wood just in case... Damn... knocked too hard... Now that's going to cost me 5,000 bucks to fix.

Goodbye money.  Goodbye savings.  Goodbye sanity.

CSM