Being a crab isn't easy. I've got a hard outer shell with a space just big enough to peer out at the world and a couple of claws that, if they get a hold on you, will squeeze you until your eyes bulge out. I live under the influence of a vast ocean of ever moving water and the low and high tides which in turn are influenced by the ever-cycling moon. I will scurry off when I feel like it, leaving you to wonder, and then come running back when you aren't expecting it. And, some seafood is very tasty.
Yes, I am a crab, born in July... Even worse on the 4th. (A side note -- thanks everyone for coming to my nationwide birthday party. Love you all.)
If you're a Cancerian, you know what I'm talking about. Tenacious, crabby, moody, touchy, unable to let go, unforgiving, never forgetting, and can be very vindictive... And that's when I'm in a good mood. Just kidding. We Cancerians are caring, nurturing, have a great love of family and tradition, loyal, dependable, and love ya more than our luggage if you gain our trust.
I've gone through some rough times over the past few years and I have to admit that I have taken the vindictive road on several occasions. Not always, but sometimes. Part of this vindictiveness is anger that keeps manifesting. Anger over my parents dying. Anger over things that never got said. Anger over moments when I wish I would have been more vocal. Anger over the fact that I can never find pants that are 29" long.
Being angry is part of our general human make-up. I like being angry sometimes. It reminds me that I'm a human who has deep emotions and a big heart. It also reminds that I'm not going to agree with everyone, but I only have to get along with them. But most of all, it reminds me that I need to be more forgiving with myself and others. It's not easy to forgive someone for dying. It's nobody's fault. Death is part of the human experience. That and watching old reruns of The Golden Girls. But I digress...
Forgiving someone for me is hard. Being a crab makes me, well, naturally crabby. What's more important is that I recognize it. I need to allow myself to forgive. I forgive the shopkeeper. I forgive the mailman for bringing bills. I forgive the millennial. I forgive my Mom and Dad for leaving here and making me change... and I might add, for the best.
And I also forgive myself for taking the vindictive road. Anger makes us do weird things.
CSM
Being angry is part of our general human make-up. I like being angry sometimes. It reminds me that I'm a human who has deep emotions and a big heart. It also reminds that I'm not going to agree with everyone, but I only have to get along with them. But most of all, it reminds me that I need to be more forgiving with myself and others. It's not easy to forgive someone for dying. It's nobody's fault. Death is part of the human experience. That and watching old reruns of The Golden Girls. But I digress...
Forgiving someone for me is hard. Being a crab makes me, well, naturally crabby. What's more important is that I recognize it. I need to allow myself to forgive. I forgive the shopkeeper. I forgive the mailman for bringing bills. I forgive the millennial. I forgive my Mom and Dad for leaving here and making me change... and I might add, for the best.
And I also forgive myself for taking the vindictive road. Anger makes us do weird things.
CSM
No comments:
Post a Comment