I now know where I get my "you can run but you can't hide" ability of perception, intuition, logic, and problem-solving skills. If I find you interesting, I will try my best to figure you out and make friends along the way. You can run, but you can't hide.
As with my Mother, I received a story from another Facebook friend. This time, it was about my Father. She told me about how my Father told her mother/my Father's aunt about me and my personal preferences. I never really wanted to come out to my Father. I don't know why. I'm leaving that for a late night discussion with him sometime soon.
Although I know the biggest part was fear. Fear of being tossed out, pushed aside, Bible-beaten, and even worse, being disappointing even though I wouldn't have been. Ah, the struggle of being oneself. I realize now that I'm just like everyone else...
Don't tell me you've gotten nothing to hide. That there is no facade. No skeletons in your closet. HA! You can run but you can't hide. Anyway...
Your parents always know, regardless of what you may try to hide. I don't know why I tried to run away. I don't why I even cared about hiding it. We just went on as if it were nothing. And maybe that's it. It is nothing. Just being who I am is just part of being me on a regular daily basis.
My Father knew and it didn't seem to matter. And if it did, he never said. He loved me just the same.
As you may recall from other posts, I always thought my Father was the maddest man I knew. But beyond that he was a good man who lived life the best he could. Raised three kids. Worked hard, putting pride into it. Watched his parents, aunts, uncles, and friends grow old and die. Struggled with marriage. The big difference was in our generational upbringing. He kept his secrets to himself. I let out.
Fathers and Mothers always know. My parents knew it was a struggle for me to find the words. But it's OK. They struggled with their own demons.
Love ya, Dad. Hope you and Mama are having fun wherever you are.
CSM
As with my Mother, I received a story from another Facebook friend. This time, it was about my Father. She told me about how my Father told her mother/my Father's aunt about me and my personal preferences. I never really wanted to come out to my Father. I don't know why. I'm leaving that for a late night discussion with him sometime soon.
Although I know the biggest part was fear. Fear of being tossed out, pushed aside, Bible-beaten, and even worse, being disappointing even though I wouldn't have been. Ah, the struggle of being oneself. I realize now that I'm just like everyone else...
Don't tell me you've gotten nothing to hide. That there is no facade. No skeletons in your closet. HA! You can run but you can't hide. Anyway...
Your parents always know, regardless of what you may try to hide. I don't know why I tried to run away. I don't why I even cared about hiding it. We just went on as if it were nothing. And maybe that's it. It is nothing. Just being who I am is just part of being me on a regular daily basis.
My Father knew and it didn't seem to matter. And if it did, he never said. He loved me just the same.
As you may recall from other posts, I always thought my Father was the maddest man I knew. But beyond that he was a good man who lived life the best he could. Raised three kids. Worked hard, putting pride into it. Watched his parents, aunts, uncles, and friends grow old and die. Struggled with marriage. The big difference was in our generational upbringing. He kept his secrets to himself. I let out.
Fathers and Mothers always know. My parents knew it was a struggle for me to find the words. But it's OK. They struggled with their own demons.
Love ya, Dad. Hope you and Mama are having fun wherever you are.
CSM
No comments:
Post a Comment