The other day, I sat reviewing my recent past, not long past, but back to the late summer. As you may recall, I posted about what friends mean to me. Defining a friend vs. an acquaintance. Getting rid of a person out of my life. All that jazz from a few posts back.
Well, here I am, a few weeks later. A vacation has come and gone. The completion of my second book. Parting with my childhood home. The fear of cancer. You know, just a few minor things...
I still wonder if I did the right thing. Pushing someone out of my life. I hated it. I still hate it. I've only done it a couple of times before with the same question -- Am I doing the right thing?
Let me say this... Who the hell knows! I might have dodged a bullet. This year has sucked in many ways! It actually started last September with the death of Uncle Dick, followed by Uncle Ron in December. In October, a year ago, I sat in the Doctor's office with my Father who looked like a frail old man. Now that I think back, he didn't even really look like the man I grew up with. He looked like an old man. A skinny, bald, no-teeth frail old man who seemed to age over night.
Outside the office door, I asked the Doctor. "What's your thoughts?"
He looked past me. "Six months. That's my gut feeling."
A year has come and gone since that day.
And six months it was. April 15th at 2:30 in the afternoon.
Since then, I've started making new friends and having new experiences. And personally, I feel great! Just today, I was at work, minding my own business, when I heard someone humming. My co-worker turned to me and said "What are you all cheery about?" It was me. I was humming. A simple happy tune.
So, now I sit here wondering "Did I do the right thing by pushing someone out of my life?"
In relation to everything else that has happened, it doesn't matter. But the real answer is no. I didn't. I should never push people away not matter how angry they make me. In this case, he was there for a reason. To make me angry. I haven't been that angry at someone in a long time. I wasn't just angry over one incident. I was angry over several incidents over time with the same person. It had accumulated to the one-last-straw.
I also know that I have moved on to bigger, brighter, and maybe more important adventures.
And so the phoenix life's end and a new one emerges from the ashes. I feel that way, but every once in a while, I have to review the past to remind myself of where I'm going.
CSM
Well, here I am, a few weeks later. A vacation has come and gone. The completion of my second book. Parting with my childhood home. The fear of cancer. You know, just a few minor things...
I still wonder if I did the right thing. Pushing someone out of my life. I hated it. I still hate it. I've only done it a couple of times before with the same question -- Am I doing the right thing?
Let me say this... Who the hell knows! I might have dodged a bullet. This year has sucked in many ways! It actually started last September with the death of Uncle Dick, followed by Uncle Ron in December. In October, a year ago, I sat in the Doctor's office with my Father who looked like a frail old man. Now that I think back, he didn't even really look like the man I grew up with. He looked like an old man. A skinny, bald, no-teeth frail old man who seemed to age over night.
Outside the office door, I asked the Doctor. "What's your thoughts?"
He looked past me. "Six months. That's my gut feeling."
A year has come and gone since that day.
And six months it was. April 15th at 2:30 in the afternoon.
Since then, I've started making new friends and having new experiences. And personally, I feel great! Just today, I was at work, minding my own business, when I heard someone humming. My co-worker turned to me and said "What are you all cheery about?" It was me. I was humming. A simple happy tune.
So, now I sit here wondering "Did I do the right thing by pushing someone out of my life?"
In relation to everything else that has happened, it doesn't matter. But the real answer is no. I didn't. I should never push people away not matter how angry they make me. In this case, he was there for a reason. To make me angry. I haven't been that angry at someone in a long time. I wasn't just angry over one incident. I was angry over several incidents over time with the same person. It had accumulated to the one-last-straw.
I also know that I have moved on to bigger, brighter, and maybe more important adventures.
And so the phoenix life's end and a new one emerges from the ashes. I feel that way, but every once in a while, I have to review the past to remind myself of where I'm going.
CSM
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