The holiday season is underway. Halloween and Thanksgiving have passed and now Christmas is speeding towards me, then a whole New Year.
What will it be like? Waking up Christmas morning with no presents to open, piled under a glowing Christmas tree. Santa didn't slip in during the night to leave a Target gift card. A broken family scattered across the country, all beginning new traditions for their holiday season.
I will wake up on Christmas Day in my own bed in my own home, probably alone, probably sleeping in. I wonder how I will react. Will I cry? Will I treat it like any other day of the week? A quiet day at home watching Christmas movies? Fixing a small Christmas dinner? I don't know yet.
In all my years, I have never spent Christmas anywhere but "at home" with my parents. Not my current home, but the one where I grew up. The one where my Mother would be making chili. My Father would be preparing for his morning role as Santa. Waiting on the rest of the family to arrive. Visitors stopping by with baked goods. Looking at the chosen Christmas decor for the year.
Christmas is here, but it doesn't feel like the season. I think I may be numbing myself for that morning. Keeping my mind occupied with other activities like book two and three, getting rid of dusty stuff sitting around my apartment, changing my whole outlook on life.
I can hardly wait for the New Year. A new beginning. 2014. The year 2013 will be behind me. I can start even more anew. Focusing on the two most important goals I have ever challenged myself with: first, complete book three and one other, and second, find that someone to spend my life with.
I have deep faith that I will succeed. If I survived 2008 and now 2013, then I can survive anything.
CSM
What will it be like? Waking up Christmas morning with no presents to open, piled under a glowing Christmas tree. Santa didn't slip in during the night to leave a Target gift card. A broken family scattered across the country, all beginning new traditions for their holiday season.
I will wake up on Christmas Day in my own bed in my own home, probably alone, probably sleeping in. I wonder how I will react. Will I cry? Will I treat it like any other day of the week? A quiet day at home watching Christmas movies? Fixing a small Christmas dinner? I don't know yet.
In all my years, I have never spent Christmas anywhere but "at home" with my parents. Not my current home, but the one where I grew up. The one where my Mother would be making chili. My Father would be preparing for his morning role as Santa. Waiting on the rest of the family to arrive. Visitors stopping by with baked goods. Looking at the chosen Christmas decor for the year.
Christmas is here, but it doesn't feel like the season. I think I may be numbing myself for that morning. Keeping my mind occupied with other activities like book two and three, getting rid of dusty stuff sitting around my apartment, changing my whole outlook on life.
I can hardly wait for the New Year. A new beginning. 2014. The year 2013 will be behind me. I can start even more anew. Focusing on the two most important goals I have ever challenged myself with: first, complete book three and one other, and second, find that someone to spend my life with.
I have deep faith that I will succeed. If I survived 2008 and now 2013, then I can survive anything.
CSM
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