You may find this quote cruel, mean-hearted, rude, uncaring, etc. Just a warning...
Mrs. White, played by the hilarious Madeline Kahn, in the movie Clue has the following line when being asked about her late husband: "Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."
I love that line. It's true that it's coming from a woman who didn't care about her husband, so that makes a difference. I thought of that quote the other day... Yes, after my father's death... Yes, in relation to my father's death. It's the best quote that I have the this time.
Now, before you start writing me and say "That's just wrong, Christopher," let me explain my point of view.
My Father turned to either my Sister or me on numerous occasions after my mother died for various levels of help. I was the one who went to the hospital and helped him make tough decisions. I had to accept his decisions whether I liked them or not. That's the way I was raised. My anxiety skyrocketed. My stomach ached, often so hard that I wasn't sure I was going to make it through the day or even sleep through the night. In other words, it was rough.
I will miss him. I still miss my mother. To this day, I have horrific memories of her last few months of life. Some of them I have tried to sponge away, but no matter how hard I scrub, they're there. However, I'll live with all my memories and still laugh and cry.
Life didn't give me a choice. Don't get me wrong, I hated it when both my parents died. Like I said, I had no choice. Life almost cleaned off my slate. I have no mortgage or major debt. I'm single. My parents are both gone. My childhood home is gone.
What I do have is: a sister, a nephew and his family, a cozy apartment, a few dear and wonderful close friends, money in the savings, my health, practical skills that I can apply anywhere, and one hell of a void.
So, what do I want to do? Where do I want to go? The slate is ready. The chalk is ready. All I need to do is write some goals and away I go. If it's that easy, why am so scared? What if I miss out on something wonderful here? What if I move away and say "My god! Why didn't I do this sooner?" or "Dear god, please take me back home!"
I have a life to live. I want to live it to the fullest.
My father, or my mother for that fact, wouldn't have wanted me to sit around and mourn for the next 40 years. What kind of a life would that be? As the old song says, "gotta lot of livin' to do." The world is a wonderland and I want to play. So that way, when my time comes, you can say "He enjoyed a great life."
And when I meet up with my parents, I can tell them all about it.
CSM
Mrs. White, played by the hilarious Madeline Kahn, in the movie Clue has the following line when being asked about her late husband: "Well, it's a matter of life after death. Now that he's dead, I have a life."
I love that line. It's true that it's coming from a woman who didn't care about her husband, so that makes a difference. I thought of that quote the other day... Yes, after my father's death... Yes, in relation to my father's death. It's the best quote that I have the this time.
Now, before you start writing me and say "That's just wrong, Christopher," let me explain my point of view.
My Father turned to either my Sister or me on numerous occasions after my mother died for various levels of help. I was the one who went to the hospital and helped him make tough decisions. I had to accept his decisions whether I liked them or not. That's the way I was raised. My anxiety skyrocketed. My stomach ached, often so hard that I wasn't sure I was going to make it through the day or even sleep through the night. In other words, it was rough.
I will miss him. I still miss my mother. To this day, I have horrific memories of her last few months of life. Some of them I have tried to sponge away, but no matter how hard I scrub, they're there. However, I'll live with all my memories and still laugh and cry.
Life didn't give me a choice. Don't get me wrong, I hated it when both my parents died. Like I said, I had no choice. Life almost cleaned off my slate. I have no mortgage or major debt. I'm single. My parents are both gone. My childhood home is gone.
What I do have is: a sister, a nephew and his family, a cozy apartment, a few dear and wonderful close friends, money in the savings, my health, practical skills that I can apply anywhere, and one hell of a void.
So, what do I want to do? Where do I want to go? The slate is ready. The chalk is ready. All I need to do is write some goals and away I go. If it's that easy, why am so scared? What if I miss out on something wonderful here? What if I move away and say "My god! Why didn't I do this sooner?" or "Dear god, please take me back home!"
I have a life to live. I want to live it to the fullest.
My father, or my mother for that fact, wouldn't have wanted me to sit around and mourn for the next 40 years. What kind of a life would that be? As the old song says, "gotta lot of livin' to do." The world is a wonderland and I want to play. So that way, when my time comes, you can say "He enjoyed a great life."
And when I meet up with my parents, I can tell them all about it.
CSM
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you also have a far removed (2nd or 3rd?) cousin left. He that has agonized for 81 years over the location in this universe where he was supposed to be. If I was to put all the people (friends and family) that have passed on before me in a hall, it would be standing room only.
ReplyDeleteAfter all these years, I would like to walk among them and just touch thier face or kiss thier forehead and tell them that I miss them all and say to any I ever offended (Please forgive me). Chase your dreams- and for sure travel the world as I have and find a traveling companion to share your journeys with, for this is a lonely planet when you are alone. Jim