I spent the other evening with my dear friend Elaine. At my apartment, she kindly took some new photographs of me in writer mode, then we headed to dinner on Massachusetts Avenue, followed by dessert.
While enjoying some frozen yogurt with hot fudge, I chatted about how different my life is now, in contrast to a year ago. I said to her:
"I didn't realize how different my life was, until the other morning...
I got in the shower and I'm standing there under the warm water, when I heard someone humming. I thought "Who's humming?!" Did someone get into my apartment? Is Norman Bates about to strike? And what an interesting introduction... to come into the bathroom and hum while I'm washing what remains of my hair. Then I realized it was me. I was the hummer. I'm not even sure what I was humming. Probably some old tune from the 40s. It was a happy tune.
That was the moment I realized life had gone on. And there I stood in the shower, still alive, having the chance to continue along the road of life, searching for my nirvana. My Shangri-La. I was happy."
Elaine compassionately listened. She's a wonderful listener, especially when I need someone to listen.
"Being myself by being out and about. Looking for love in all the wrong places, but at least I'm looking. Getting rid of the old habits that aren't working. It's tough, but I'm doing it. Letting go. And not caring about when the other shoe drops."
Elaine simply smiled.
Frank Capra and James Stewart were right. It is a wonderful life. No matter how much was/is thrown at me. I still survived. I will survive. (Thank you, Gloria Gaynor.)
CSM
While enjoying some frozen yogurt with hot fudge, I chatted about how different my life is now, in contrast to a year ago. I said to her:
"I didn't realize how different my life was, until the other morning...
I got in the shower and I'm standing there under the warm water, when I heard someone humming. I thought "Who's humming?!" Did someone get into my apartment? Is Norman Bates about to strike? And what an interesting introduction... to come into the bathroom and hum while I'm washing what remains of my hair. Then I realized it was me. I was the hummer. I'm not even sure what I was humming. Probably some old tune from the 40s. It was a happy tune.
That was the moment I realized life had gone on. And there I stood in the shower, still alive, having the chance to continue along the road of life, searching for my nirvana. My Shangri-La. I was happy."
Elaine compassionately listened. She's a wonderful listener, especially when I need someone to listen.
"Being myself by being out and about. Looking for love in all the wrong places, but at least I'm looking. Getting rid of the old habits that aren't working. It's tough, but I'm doing it. Letting go. And not caring about when the other shoe drops."
Elaine simply smiled.
Frank Capra and James Stewart were right. It is a wonderful life. No matter how much was/is thrown at me. I still survived. I will survive. (Thank you, Gloria Gaynor.)
CSM
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