For years now, I've believed in systems that aren't leading anywhere but to needless self-destructions. I have followed them for years. Trusting in them, believing in them, continuing to follow them.
They are no longer useful because they have gotten me nowhere but endless grief. It's time for those "tried and true ways" to be gone. Be damned with them. Send them to hell. Let them leave me. In my mind, I have started erasing them. Wiping the slate clean of them.
No more will I be bound to them. No longer will I accept the "hope for the best, expect the worse" mentality. It. is. unacceptable.
Picture cards, fortune words, serenity prayers, carved stones -- all be gone.
I am me. I have power. I will succeed. If not down one avenue then I will choose another.
I will succeed in my goals.
God -- feel free to shut windows, close doors, but be aware that I will find a way out. You gave me this soul and body to use for this time. Please don't be against me. Guide me. Out of all the other "tried and true ways", you are the only one I'm keeping. I know you're a good guy. Otherwise, I wouldn't keep you either.
Mom and Dad -- I did my best to please you, but I can't do it anymore. However, I need you more than ever. I can't go this alone. I'm changing with or without you. I've unleashed myself. I've broken away and wondering in the darkness. There are lights, but I am often blinded by them. Keep sending me the signs. I heard the one the other day and I will follow it. Scared, but will keep moving.
My fears have a strong hold on me. They have to go to. I can't be afraid anymore. I just can't.
Ramblings. Ramblings of a kind and loving person who needs to be needed.
CSM
They are no longer useful because they have gotten me nowhere but endless grief. It's time for those "tried and true ways" to be gone. Be damned with them. Send them to hell. Let them leave me. In my mind, I have started erasing them. Wiping the slate clean of them.
No more will I be bound to them. No longer will I accept the "hope for the best, expect the worse" mentality. It. is. unacceptable.
Picture cards, fortune words, serenity prayers, carved stones -- all be gone.
I am me. I have power. I will succeed. If not down one avenue then I will choose another.
I will succeed in my goals.
God -- feel free to shut windows, close doors, but be aware that I will find a way out. You gave me this soul and body to use for this time. Please don't be against me. Guide me. Out of all the other "tried and true ways", you are the only one I'm keeping. I know you're a good guy. Otherwise, I wouldn't keep you either.
Mom and Dad -- I did my best to please you, but I can't do it anymore. However, I need you more than ever. I can't go this alone. I'm changing with or without you. I've unleashed myself. I've broken away and wondering in the darkness. There are lights, but I am often blinded by them. Keep sending me the signs. I heard the one the other day and I will follow it. Scared, but will keep moving.
My fears have a strong hold on me. They have to go to. I can't be afraid anymore. I just can't.
Ramblings. Ramblings of a kind and loving person who needs to be needed.
CSM
No comments:
Post a Comment